Self care prevents health care
Your life won’t change, unless your daily habits do.
Can you relate to this? … you’re overwhelmed at work, drowning in projects, trying to excel at your career, attend church, maintain a social life, keep up your hobbies, have tonnes of stuff to do at home, friends you haven’t seen for ages, family commitments clashing with important meetings, your calendar is packed with overdue tasks, trying to eat well, drink enough water, get good grades, and exercise regularly. And to make room for all of this stuff and cope with the roadrunner lifestyle, you stop going to the gym, skip lunch, pull an all-nighter, and stop connecting with important people.
When we're ridiculously busy, why is self care usually the first thing to go? And that only makes things worse. How can we accomplish all those important, pressing things on five hours sleep and mega doses of caffeine? How can we be a good friend/partner/family member/colleague, if we’re feeling sluggish and grumpy? Our excuse: overworked and underpaid, too busy and too tired.
Thrive, not just survive
As fluffy as the phrase "self care" may sound, it's just a few basic habits that will help us to thrive, not just survive. We are generally taught that the more we sacrifice, the bigger the reward; the more stuff we do, the more liked we’ll be. I’m guilty of this, my favourite saying is ‘hard work wins,’ but it's easy to take that too far, to the point where it becomes counterproductive. Your abilities are worn. Your skills aren't as sharp. You lose focus. And become unproductive and inefficient. And even worse, a horrible person to be around.
We know more than we ever have about nutrition, exercise, mindfulness, the benefits of social connection, sleep, prayer, counselling and yet the human race is sicker than ever – physically and mentally.
Self care shouldn’t be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own relentless crazy lives, or we get a horrible wake up call. It should be as much a part of our everyday life as brushing our teeth.
Self care is not just salt baths, massages, chocolate and wine (although sometimes that may be part of it), it’s making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.
It’s no longer using our hectic, demanding and imbalanced lives as justification for not looking after ourselves. It’s learning how to stop trying to “fix ourselves” and start trying to take care of ourselves … and maybe finding that taking care attends to half the problems we were trying to fix in the first place.
It means being the hero of our life, not the victim. It means rewiring what we have until our everyday life isn’t something we need therapy to recover from. It’s choosing a life that feels good on the inside, over a life that looks good from the outside. It’s letting go of some things so we can care more about other things. It’s meeting our own needs so we aren’t anxious, dependent and outright exhausted - looking after you first, so you have the capacity to look after others.
Self care is an active choice to engage in activities that help you to gain or maintain an optimal level of overall health - not just the physical, but the psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual components of wellbeing. Self care helps to boost self confidence, reduce stress, think straight, be more relaxed, well nourished, fit, more productive, organised, and fills your emotional tank.
But don't expect to see a change in your life if you don't make small changes every day - it’s about repeating healthy behaviours until they become a habit!
Start by asking:
When was the last time I took time to analyse my health and wellbeing holistically?
Do I feel relaxed, focused, positive and charged up? If so, what’s contributing to that?
Have I recently been truly grateful? Truly joyful?
What do I most enjoy doing with my time?
What activities make my heart feel at rest and at peace?
When do I feel the most full of life?
What do I do to release stress and tension?
Which people provide me with energy, strength, and hope?
When do I feel my life is full of purpose and meaning?
Healthy habits
So, what do you need to start or stop in order to better look after yourself?
In my life I use these five pillars as I guide to check in on my wellbeing: eating well, moving well, thinking well, resting well and engaging well.
Eating Well
Everyone wants to eat well and find food that's good for them, but it may be hard to cook or plan meals when you're busy. When you have three deadlines on your tail, you may be more likely to reach for leftover pizza or go through the Mc Donald’s drive through rather than make yourself a salad. It can also be hard to eat healthy in a world filled with processed food, but just focus on one area at a time rather than trying to overhaul your entire diet. Being prepared is key! Making meals in bulk means you can grab one from the freezer on your way out the door to work, rather than having to buy something in a rush at lunch time.
My favourite saying around food is - eat real food, not too much, mostly plants. To do this shop around the edge of the supermarket where you find real, whole, minimally processed foods; foods in cardboard boxes or plastic packages (which usually live in the supermarket isles) with confusing food labels and outrageous health claims are often full of fat, sugar, salt and preservatives.
Remember you are what you eat – so don’t be fast, cheap, easy or fake.
What’s one positive change you could make to your diet? eg. more protein or veges at breakfast, avoiding eating in the car, less snacking, having more fruit, fewer takeaways, more vegetarian meals, less alcohol, not as much salt, smaller portions, eating mindfully. Choose your one thing!
Moving Well
It's easy to neglect exercise when you're overextended because exercise requires time, energy, a change of clothes and trip to the shower. It can be daunting, messy and uncomfortable. But try to make it part of your daily routine, like brushing your teeth – you just do it every day. And remember, that gym session doesn’t mean you should have a large latte and a muffin.
How could you get more movement into your week? eg. walking in your lunch break, parking far away, taking the stairs, joining a sports team, hiking, weekend activities, coaching a sports team, buy a few weights for home workouts, do youtube yoga, walking when you catch up with people.
Engaging Well
We are made for connection, meaning and purpose so fill your “boardroom table”: do you have people who speak life and truth to you, people who are fun and relaxing, others who are challenging and more serious – we need them all. Aim to spend less time with those who leave you feeling exhausted and negative, and engage with people who leave you feeling energised.
How well balanced is your boardroom table? Who do you need to add? eg. mentor, adventurous friend, counsellor, family.
Thinking Well
The physical aspect of wellness is important, but when a lot of people talk about self care they're talking about emotional health and cognition: dealing with stress, anxiety, sadness, depression and stretching your knowledge and learning. And that's probably because we tend to ignore it more. Keeping your thoughts and emotions in check and expanding your knowledge is a huge part of self care.
What does this look like for you? eg. scheduling in time to breathe and relax, mindfulness and meditation, decluttering, reading, counselling, coaching, mentoring, studying.
Resting Well
When you sleep, important physical and mental processes are carried out. Sleep and rest helps regulate your appetite, maintain a healthy weight, improve concentration and productivity, enhance immune function, prevent anxiety, repair tissues and keep your blood vessels healthy. Getting 7-8 hours of sleep per night is actually really important for your overall health.
How could you rest well? eg. making the most of your weekends, scheduling rest time, saying no more often, taking a lunch break, unplugging, holidaying regularly, reading, prioritising and working efficiently.
Bottom Line
Self care will allow you to be the best version of you, but it doesn’t just happen so set some time aside regularly to analyse how you are going and set goals with others to help keep you accountable. Try to practise one new thing until it is a habit, and then add in another.